My husband sent this to me with the message, "Is this is what we have to look forward to?";-)
My mom is getting a new used car this week. We are trying to decide whether it is a good idea. She totaled her car the week before Christmas.
When do you say enough is enough and take the keys away? She is an eighty two year lady who is strong willed and very independent. Her mind is very bright and clear.
She lives out of state from her four daughters of which 3 of us live fairly close together. This has been a troubling question? She doesn't want to move to where we are.
Enjoy the cartoon...it is quite cute unless you are experiencing this phenomenon yourself!!!!! Yikes, is it truly what is to come.....?
I again need your wonderful ideas? If you have had to handle this situation, what did you do?
Thanks,
26 comments:
Hi Beth!
I enjoyed your post! (LOL)
I have a "crafty friendship blog award for you on my blog!
Thanks for you friendship and crafty and creative thoughts!
oh my...this "event" is so right now for us!...I could have written this blog!
Too funny!
I wish that I could help you with this situation. We are going through the same thing with Audley's grandmother right now and it is tough. I look forward to seeing what advice you get here.
I left a comment below for you too. I've been a little preoccupied this week.
Have a great weekend!
hugs, Jen
Your blog has been MINI Featured in the comment box of A Divas Hammer game Rub A Dub Dub !!! :)
Love, The Muse
Hia Beth, there is talk over here about the elderly being asked to retake their test:
http://www.sundaymercury.net/news/columnists/george-tyndale/2009/01/03/elderly-motorists-should-face-annual-driving-test-97319-22598919/
There are some interesting points here:
http://www.drdriving.org/elderly/
You say she has all her wits, so all you can do really is express your concern to her and ask how safe she feels. Some people might be shaken up but be afraid of a car-less life.
Hi Beth :)
That cartoon is so cute.
I wish I did have some advice for you on the driving - I haven't experienced this one yet. It might not be too far away, so I'm looking forward to reading everyone's suggestions. :) My thoughts with you! {hugs}
Oh my gosh, that is hillarious!!! I am sending it to my mom!!!!
Yep! That is totally what it's going to be like...it's all ready happening in my life! Cute post. Thanks for the laugh. Happy Friday to you.
My mom is 89 and still driving. She and I do live within the same town and we agreed she can drive to church and limited other driving (she probably drives other places 3 times a month) and no long distance driving at all or going into the city. We live in a amaller suburb so I do feel a little comfortable with that but accidents can certainly happen anywhere. I watch her "thinking" and responsiveness very close. I know it's her last "independence" she has. It's just very difficult!
Good luck! That's a hard question. I hope I'm that independent at 82.
Beth, they took the keys away from my step-grandfather because he was blacking out behind the wheel. But his children all lived nearby. He was mad as a hornet though. LOL!
I don't know what to advise. It seems after she had the accident, she might consider not driving, but if no one is nearby, then it might be a problem. Has she considered a retirement community/assisted living? They do the driving for you! Just a thought.
Sending much love your way. Hope you're warm where you are!
XO,
Sheila :-)
Hee hee hee , what a cute cartoon! I was thinking she was probably waiting in the wrong car at first. lol!
I wish I had some answers for you but older people are very stubborn. My husbands grandad is 92 and he still drives. He probably shouldn't but he passed the test so what can you do?
My mom grows more stubborn each passing year. It makes me crazy! And she's only 73!
Yes, we have that and so much more to look forward too. My best to you and your sisters.
Sharon
My mom and her sisters had to make this decision. They were all feeling really guilty about doing such a mean thing to their mom. And grandma was madder than heck that they would even consider taking away her keys. But I kept telling my mom....how are you going to feel if she kills someone with her car. My grandma lived in Santaquin and all the kids were in Arizona except for one daughter in SLC...so grandma really needed some way to get groceries and run errands. After grandma had her third accident they finally caved in and while the car was at the repair shop they took the keys and told her no more. They contacted the senior citizens center in the town she lived in and made arrangements for them to help her with her shopping and other errands. And grandma went out and bought a three wheeled bike. She was mad...but it just wasn't fair to the innocent people who she would have inevitably hurt if they hadn't done it. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this difficult issue. Good luck with it.
Hi, Beth -
I loved the cartoon and don't know what to suggest about older parents. My mother has passed away and my 84 year old father is living in an RV park in New Mexico, goes for long walks out in the desert by himself and is looking forward to buying an ATV. Does he have it all together? Not entirely, no. He worries us to death, but he doesn't want to live carefully.
Hope you had a great day!
Elizabeth
LOL ;) Hope you have a beautiful weekend! ♥ Hugs!
What a funny comic! Oh but kind of sad too - Maybe your mom shouldnt buy that new car after all. :-) Have a wonderful weekend!
The cartoon was hilarious but I am sorry in real life you are having to go through this. My mom is an extremely strong willed woman so I hate to think of the day when we might have to make that decision. I'll hope for the best for you on this.
I guess it depends on whether she'd "allow" you to take her keys away. I don't have parents, but is there a way to legally take them without her approval? And also, don't they have to take a vision test once they reach a certain age?
Brenda
My mom did this to my grandfather when it was time. It was a hard decision to make, but the best for everyone. He was getting to the point where he was dangerous to himself. Just do it. Find a nice way of putting it, I guess. I'm no expert though lol. How've ya been?
Hi Beth, that's a funny cartoon and a difficult question. Is it possible to have her family doctor address the driving question? One of you could call and put him in the picture. He could do some reflex testing, etc. and be the one to say she needs to give up her keys. She may receive the news better from the doctor who is not a family member, but cares about her, and can present it without emotions.
This is difficult. My dad drove until he was almost 89. He died on his 89th birthday. He was sick only for a few months before he died. I drove him to Walmart in his car one day and he wasn't feeling well. Trying to get out of a busy street took quite a while and afterwards he looked at me and said "I can't do that anymore, I just can't". It was sooo hard on him to give up driving. He was so independant and it was very frustrating for him to see that freedom gone. But it was for the best. He gave me his car. It was one of his most prized posessions. I told him I would come at a moments notice to take him anywhere he wanted to go. But he ended up not being well enough to go very many places. I miss him. It is a hard thing for the family on the whole. I know how you feel. I told him "Dad if you hurt someone by not being able to react it would be so tragic for you." I think that thought is something that they have to think about and eventually we both do too. Sad but true.
Hi Beth!
Thanks for stopping by! Do you shop at the Material Girls in South Jordan? If so, that is to funny! That is my favorite quilting store a long with a few others! Wow, I'm so happy to hear you quilt! You should post your quilts, I would love to see them!
You are my kindred friend, oh I mean Aunt, you adopted me, right?!;-)
This is a hard one. Thank heavens my mom just knew when it was time to sell hers. She made that decision when she moved into Assisted Living, which offers transportation. Good luck with this. I wish your mom would move closer to you and your sisters. I'm sure that would give each of you a lot of comfort.
Have a good week.
Hey!
Just stopping by to see how you are...Hope that you have a great day, tomorrow!
Blessings,
Elizabeth
There is an elderly gentleman our family is close to who went through this this summer. He was at our home for FHE and had to leave for home before it got dark. We were going somewhere and ended up following him. He was all over the road- quite scary. We wondered if we should say something after all he isn't a member of our family. About a month later he was selling his car. His kids talked to him. I think at first he was upset but then he realized they wouldn't be telling him this unless there was a good reason. He said he thought of how he'd feel if he hurt someone, whether a pedestrian or in a car. That was something he couldn't live with. Now his freedom has decreased, he gets a ride everywhere he goes but he lives with peace of mind. Think of how he'd be living if he lost his drivers license because of an accident. He'd have decreased freedom AND mass guilt feelings.
I know it was hard for my grandma A. and she lives with dad. She seems to do fine as he's able to run errands for her and takes her to get out when she's healthy enough. I wonder if uncle R can help in this matter, or a grand kid. Just my thoughts.
Ah ha ha ha ha LOL!!
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