Dad and a Peaceful night's Sleep

This waterfall sounded heavenly and so peaceful when at a home we recently visited. I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to relax and go to sleep with such beautiful music in our ears.

This is 'Thankful Thursday' and I AM very grateful for so many blessings. I am grateful for the beauty which surrounds us daily. How the simple sounds of rushing water, the beauty of a flower, seeing a child's imagination unfold and seeing a smile of gratitude on an elderly person's face can bless our lives and so many much more blesss our lives each day...


*

But sometimes when you are so frustrated you forget about these simple blessings. And this week, I have been so frustrated and this might not be a very positive blog. I am sorry... I have shed many tears as we have worked hard to get the necessary medical care for our dad...

*
I really am grateful our health system and I can’t imagine if our health care changes drastically for our elderly and the end of life care.

*
We are finding anyone who is in a ‘Skilled Nursing Center' or nursing home needs an advocate and someone watching out for them! We have had a terrible time for my Father in Law's (dad's) vital information, to be passed down to his next care givers, when their shifts changes. The next nurse and aide who comes on duty seems to be clueless. His shoulders have been re-injured this week and at first we couldn't understand why he was so disoriented.

*
The first night we left him comfortable in a soft reclining chair watching his roommates TV since he didn't have his own remote yet.


His roomie is non verbal and sleeps most of the time. We found out the aide left at 10:00 pm and dad declined the aide's help of being put into bed before he left. ( We found out the next day he had thought his roomie was IN HIS bed and he didn't want to disturb him. ) We received several phone calls from him during the night saying, " I want to lay down and no body will talk to me."

*
Mr B told him to call his nurse on the red call button. The poor man spent the night, just in his hospital gown he had arrived in from the hospital, sitting in that chair without a blanket.

*
He was trying to get oriented and that didn't help any with his confusion. We thought he had mixed up his nights and day. Little did we know how bad it would get.

*
Dad’s oxygen level was low while in the hospital. So when he was transferred he was on oxygen. We were told he was to keep it on until he could maintain 93 % ... They had only been able to get it up to 86%.
*
It seems this week since moving him to a "highly skilled care center" with a re-hab next door, he has declined about 70% mentally and physically! We have been literally FIGHTING to get our dad decent care. EACH time we go to see him, except for once, his oxygen has been removed from him. Twice it was laying on the floor.

*
Monday, when I went to see him, his oxygen was laying on the floor and he was not himself. I asked an aide to please replace it and he sterilized it and it was replaced. I explained to dad, HOW important it was for him to keep his oxygen on for the healing process. I explained that not only his brain cells were dying but ALL of the cells of his body would die without the needed oxygen. He became happier and brighter within an hour of having his oxygen back on.
*
He then called me several times on his cell phone saying he needed help to get his oxygen on because they had taken it off. He said he couldn’t find anyone to help him. I would then talk him through the process of calling for his nurse or aide.
*
With his torn rotators cuffs in both shoulders and a broken pelvis he has limited mobility. He wants to wear it, understands he needs it and is not taking it off. I am frustrated because I have called, had meetings with the director of nursing on his floor, his own nurses and we have repeatedly asked his aides to please keep his oxygen attached to him.

*
Tuesday, we found him AGAIN in a wheel chair, waiting for dinner in the dining room, very disoriented and weak...
*
He didn’t have his oxygen with him!

*

We wheeled him back to his room and the nurse checked his oxygen and it was only at 81%. (Body cells die at that percentage.) We placed a sign in his room which I had made. It says," PLEASE make sure oxygen is replaced after showering. He is to remain on oxygen at all times!" I spoon fed him some pudding snacks I had brought him.

When his aide came in, she said, " I was told by his nurse he didn’t need oxygen when he left his room."

*

We found out most of our pleading had been for naught. For each meal and for each appointment with Physical Therapy, he had been going without any oxygen! Then after he was brought back and left in the wheel chair, he remained in his room without it, sometimes for hours! Until someone realized he needed it off, or I called them to see if he had it on or he pleaded loud enough for them to replace it!

*
So again we MADE SURE the nurse and aide KNEW he needed oxygen on at all times. We did not leave the center until they attached an oxygen holder to the back of his wheel chair so a tank could always go with him.


*

Wednesday afternoon, Mr B and I had a meeting set up with a case worker and social worker for dad at the care center. We went early because we wanted to wheel him over to where his apartment is, in a Senior living Center to have dinner with his friends. He is a people person and needs that social interaction. It is only a block away...


*

When we got there, he was in bed, his oxygen was on but not under his nose...but it was his own fault as it slipped while he was sleeping... He seemed very ill, with labored breathing and very feeble... Not the same man who entered the home only three days prior, on Sunday!


*

I found the RN on duty and she listened to his chest and heard strange noises and his temp was up. She called the doctor, ordered ex~rays and then she gave him a large shot of antibiotics. His oxygen was again in the low 80s.


*
Thank goodness we have children who are medical professionals and can advise us with the necessary medical jargon. What about people who don’t?


*
He had all the symptoms of getting pneumonia. Thankfully his new nurse was AWESOME! We thought finally we had someone’s attention. I went and got his dinner for him at the Senior Living Center which is always yummy... It was a good thing we were there, because he was too weak to get in a wheelchair, so again we helped him to eat...

*
Then we met with a case and social worker. We voiced all our concerns in the meeting. They listened and we felt it turned out well. We were bone tired when we left. We were still concerned because he seemed so weak...

*

Then this morning he called while waiting for breakfast. He was in the dining room and said he felt great! He sounded wonderful! He had showered that morning and but was getting a little impatient because he had been waiting for his breakfast for an hour.

*
I asked him if he had his oxygen tank, He said, " No! They hadn’t replaced it after his shower." So I again called the nurses station... Then about two hours later he called and wanted to know where his wallet was. He wasn’t making any sense. I asked if he had his oxygen yet and the answer was still NO.

*
I got mad! Yes, I do have a fast temper! ( Then usually forget why I got mad. I can never stay mad.:-)

*

So again, I called and after being on hold for 10 minutes, I hung up and found the number for the director of the center. Within about 4 minutes, he assured me dad’s oxygen was hooked up and he would personally make sure he would have it on after this. He would call us back daily to see our concerns.

*

I was always polite and gracious. I was gracious also to the director, but he could tell we were upset and wanted some positive action, fast! He gave me his cell phone # and wanted us to call if we were to have any more problems. I hope we finally got the attention of the staff and dad has a chance to heal and get better.

*
I truly understand the difficult load of the staff, as our niece managed a wonderful care center in an another state. My sister was aide there and they LOVED the people. It is hard work! I appreciate each of them so much for what they do. Thank You for all your concerns and well wishes. I am still not back to regular blogging and I am sorry I used my blog as a place to vent today.
*

Please watch the care your parents and grandparents are receiving. I am finding out they need your voice and us to be an advocate for them. You/we can make a difference in their health care they receive.

*
I am on my way back over to see Dad and take his laundry to him. I want to see how he is doing...with oxygen!:-) I do hope all is well in each of your families!


*
In less than three weeks we are expecting the birth of our new grandson. I truly am grateful for so many blessings! Heavenly Father blesses us constantly and I am grateful for the promptings I have had in behalf of dad this week.

*

Bless each of your hearts if you read this long VENT! :-)


Sleep Peacefully tonight. We sure are going to try! :-)

Love, Beth